Good Intentions?

South Africans are weary of foreigners. And foreigners, like myself, are EVERYWHERE. We’re in every township—willing to help, ready to engage. But the logical question is ‘why?’. Did I come to Cape Town with some opulent philanthropic objective? I’ve tried to be genuine with myself from the very beginning. I’m here to learn. I’m here to grow. But the only trace of altruism, I think, stems from a desire to someday use my South African-acquired knowledge to help people. But not even that is a guarantee.

I suppose I’m just as weary of myself—my actions and motives—as South Africans. I’m hopeful that through my service-learning, through what seems to be a selfish journey, I’ll help people along the way. But there are two problems with that logic. 1) there’s no assurance of that and more importantly 2) shouldn’t it be the other way around? Or shouldn’t my ONLY goal be to help?

The truth is that I don’t want to be naïve or pretentious. But I’m realizing that I’m letting this fear control me. I need to find that balance, a balance suggested by a quote in one of our readings: “Never be so heavenly minded that you’re no earthly good.” It’s a matter of being passionate and resolute about my good intentions as well as measured and realistic.

So all BS aside, what are my true intentions? I want to help—in the short and long term. I want to immerse myself in the Nyanga community and be of some assistance. Is this desire paternalistic? I don’t think so. It’s all in the approach. Service-learning involves two consensual agents. Nyanga has kindly opened its doors to me. Now it is my turn to become a knowledgeable and conscientious volunteer. Ideally, I’ll be able to contribute skills, perspectives and knowledge that I’ve acquired from previous experiences. In other words, I want to provide more than physical labor. I think I have more to offer. I know I have more to offer.

I want to learn. I want to learn about Nyanga, about my identity, about my interactions with others, about NGO’s, about South Africa…..I want to learn everything. And I want these experiences and knowledge to guide my academic, emotional and personal path. I want to put this knowledge to use—to make something out of this study abroad program.

Now I need to figure out what Nyanga and Shawco want. Hopefully there’s an overlap. If not, we’ll negotiate.